Find a Husband After 35: (Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School)

I'm a CyberRomance Coach ([...] andwrote this review of Rachel Greenwood's book for myenewsletter of 10/1/2003:A couple of weeks ago, I heard from a reader about thisnew book by Rachel Greenwald "Find a Husband after 35."Despite the trite (but definitely clear) title,Greenwald has some new things to say to single people,no matter what their age or gender.I read the book in practically one sitting -- notbecause it was short or an easy read (neither), butbecause Greenwald's angle was so interesting. Theauthor has an M. B. A. from Harvard, and uses a strictbusiness and marketing approach to finding a mate.She is "no-nonsense" -- doesn't care about why one isstill single, puts up with no excuses for getting realand getting moving. Her Program (and she calls it that- The Program) is all about action.Greenwald's first of fifteen steps "to find a husbandin 12 to 18 months" is making finding a mate your #1priority. And Greenwald MEANS #1. She writes thatif a woman is not married, wants to be, and is over 35,it's an emergency and needs to be treated as such.She writes on about the importance of setting a budget(she recommends 10 to 20 percent of your net income),paying close attention to packaging -- "creating youbest look," "branding" -- not the painful hot iron toskin type, advertising, online marketing (Internetdating), on and on. Most made terrific sense. Butmy teeth really got set on edge with the"Telemarketing" chapter. Ooo-eee! There's got to belegislation coming to stop THAT one.This book does the very best in the chapter on "MarketExpansion." Greenwald does a great job in helping thereader question going for a particular "type" whenlooking for a mate. She encourages vastly expandingthe criteria one is willing to consider, tellingyourself and others merely that you are looking for"someone wonderful," and keeping in mind that thepackage may end up looking far different from what youhad fantasized. Women and men of all ages couldbenefit from reading just pages 68 - 80.The clearest message from Greenwald's book is the needfor focus and action. I frankly have no doubt if youdiligently followed her marketing steps (and she evenhas a way of proceeding if The Program does not seemto be "working"), you WOULD be partnered within 18months. What's impossible to imagine is that youwould NOT be.But "The Program" is not for the faint-hearted or theambivalent. It's hard work, driven, and success-oriented. Reading this book may help you assesshow really committed you are to find a mate.Greenwald's three "Priority Questions" are:1. Is finding a husband the most important goal inyour life right now?2. Except for something illegal or immoral, wouldyou do anything to find a husband?3. Are you committed to devoting the required time,energy, and money to find your husband?So, what do you think? Is your mate search REALLY apriority for you? If not, maybe that's part of theproblem.

I like this audio book for two reasons:First of all I am quite often in duty travel and I drive several hours until I reach my end destination. This audio book with several CDs is a very good entertainment activity.Second, this book gives very good idea where to start to look for a partner after a certain age. I am in my 40s, I am divorced, and, somehow I need to refresh my dating skills & options. This book offers all those advices.

I know it's a wacked out book, but I read the darn thing in one sitting and when I was done I thought, "it's going to happen, I'm going to meet someone, the nightmare of my past relationships is going to be over and I'm going to get married someday."I did the plan, met a guy within 3 months and we live together as a family with my son, we're engaged, we plan on having a child together after we wed in the spring. I think the thing that's important is this: I wasted my time on bad men and relationships that were never going to work. This book got me to establish a 0 tolerance policy against losers.It also got me in the mindset for Internet dates of, this is not the first date of our relationship, I'm just meeting a person. We're just meeting. Thank him for dinner and stand up and go home.I mean, I can say a lot, of course it's a flawed book, and some of it is such overkill, it's laughable, but it did work for me. So good luck to all the single people out there. To find the right person does require sacrifice, and in essence, that's what this book is about.But from one who is in the happiest time of my life, I have to say that being is love is the greatest thing ever. It was worth all the pain, and all the waiting."It's not true that there is one path that's right for everyone. Find your own truth." - Ram DasAnonymous

Rachel Greenwald is brilliant--at marketing and selling her books. At matchmaking advice? Not so much. The advice in the book that is actually useful (put yourself out there, network, stay active in the community, blah blah) is simply recycled from other sources. We've heard all this advice so many times we could recite it in our sleep. The only difference here is that she hypes it up to the point of hysteria--i.e. don't just tell people you're looking to find somebody, call everyone in your rolodex and tell them, including your plumber and ex-boyfriends. No one can actually completely follow her grueling ordeal of a program, which gives Greenwald the perfect out. If you fail to find a husband, it's YOUR fault, because you didn't follow Greenwald's ridiculously excessive advice.The much-hyped marketing know-how Greenwald supposedly has boils down to a fairly simple piece of advice--'brand' yourself. That is, determine what your three most important qualities are, and use those to 'market' yourself out in internet world. That's sound enough advice, I suppose, granted that internet dating is filled with confusing and ambiguous profiles.Some of her advice, though, isn't so innocuous. She spends a long time ranting about how older women are supposedly 'too fussy' and THAT's why they're single. In my experience, older women are, if anything, too forgiving--we need to be fussier about things that matter. For instance, Greenwald tells women they should expand their age ranges--we should start considering men who are fifteen (or more) years older. Women with graduate degrees should stop insisting on dating a men with at least a college degree--we should consider men with high school degrees.Excuse me, lady, but if I want to date a man fifteen years older I don't need to buy your book--I just have to drop by my local senior center. I bought this stupid book so I could find someone who is--call me crazy--more or less my equal. Greenwald's scolding on how we old bags should all just settle is especially irksome when you do some research and learn that SHE's married to a man her own age who also went to Harvard Business School. I guess settling is for losers, which is evidently what Greenwald thinks of us--the suckers who are foolish enough to buy her book.What really angers me about this book is there is no acknowledgment of the real-world reasons it's hard for women to get married after 35, from demographics to women's lesser economic power. Why is it MEN aren't being advised to 'settle' for a woman fifteen years older---much less educated---much less attractive? Oh, could it be that we still live in a patriarchy?Instead, like Uncle Toms everywhere, Greenwald blames the victim. It's your fault, she intones, over and over again.Instead of wasting money on this depressing garbage, I recommend John Molloy's book, Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others. Ironically, although it's written by a man, it's a much less sexist book. He doesn't scold, doesn't blame women, and offers some solid practical tips based on actual research--not a bunch of overheated catchphrases.

I loved this book because I did it religiously and found my husband..I had signed a contract with myself that my higher self would mentor myself to find that guy and do anything which is right and legal...as advised in the book...I thank this lady for writing this piece of help for my desperate heart. Only regret is that I did not know who I was in the first place and that would have helped to get someone even more suitable for me....but that's another topic. I found a great husband and that was done by this book. Period.

Molto simpatico e immediato,da leggere!Per sperimentare un inglese agevole e leggero, una lettura di svago per tutti.E' carino!

This book gave me the confidence to really do practical things to make my dream of finding a good husband actually happen. I recommend this book to anyone who sincerely feels that marriage is for them. You don't have to do everything she says. But the book is a great ideas bank and it gave me a can-do attitude to achieving my goal of meeting someone very special. We met three years ago and have been happily married now for a mere year and a half! Every day better than the last. How wonderful to have such great company on life's journey! It's well worth the time and effort and how much time do we put into all sorts of other things in our lives that mean so much less!

正直、非常に面白く読むことができました。結婚だけではなく、応用すれば、個人的な目標を達成するための手法が数多く述べられているので、自己実現のための指南書とも捉えることができます。この種の本は、読み手のプライベートな領域に触れるため、賛否が両極端に分かれるかもしれません。しかし、本気で目標達成を考えている人や、他人の意見を素直に受け入れることのできる人には、たまに出てくる愚直なまでの行動に対する指示などに、そこまでやるのか、とつい本音が出るかもしれませんが、とにかく真面目一本で語られているので、そこまで言うなら試してみようか、という気にさせてくれます。読後は、目標達成に向けてのスイッチがいつの間にかONになっている感覚を得ることができるかもしれません。

Decent attempt to 'dumb' down finding a partner. Still single...