Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential

Les auteurs expliquent comment nous pouvons davantage tirer parti des signaux non verbaux que nous envoyons à nos interlocuteurs : il s'agit de travailler sur ces deux axes que sont la force (qui est la base du respect) et la chaleur (qui nourrit l'affection). Les leaders les plus charismatiques savent équilibrer leur gestuelle pour jouer sur ces deux registres.

同じモノでも人は、好きな人から買う。 車や保険など高額になれば、その傾向がさらに強くなるだろう。”好き”とは信頼とも取れる。 政治家は有権者に好かれなければいけない、 テレビのパーソナリティは大衆に好かれなければテレビの視聴率が取れない。 どうゆう人が人に好かれて人の信頼を得るかというと、 ”強さ”と”温かさ”をバランスよく持っている人だが、それは普遍的ではなく、 相手が誰かによって、そのバランスを変える必要があると本書は主張する。 前半は、”強さ”と”温かさ”を演出するテクニカル面について触れている。 姿勢、歩き方、髪型、髪の色、声のトーン、話す態度、受動態を使わずに能動態を使うなどの文の作り方、 肌の色、洋服の種類、洋服の色・柄、等々、様々な事例を元に、 戦略的に”強さ”と”温かさ”を身につけるにはどうしたら良いかを解説している。 ここまでは、少し嫌らしい印象を持つ。 例に挙げている人物が、JF・ケネディ、ジャクリーン・ケネディ、 ロナルド・レーガン、ロバート・ケネディ、ビル・クリントン、バラック・オバマ等、政治家が多い。 ビジネスマン、それも財務、営業、購買、マーケティング、カスタマーサービス等、向き合う人が異なるだろう。 カスタマーサービスは顧客と顔を合わせることはないが、 笑顔を作るだけで顧客にはそれが伝わり、 また顧客の性格と合った、コールレップを対応させるところまで科学は進んでいる。 そうしたテクニカル面から、後半は心の持ち方に及ぶ。 結局、相手を好きにならなければ、自分を好きになって貰えない。 自分の心の持ち方、相手に対する態度によって、 相手の自分に対する印象が変わってくる。 ハーバードやコロンビア大学の学生の必読図書であるようだが、 学生時代にこれを読んで理解できるような成熟した人間でありたかった。 国数理社英の勉強も大切だが、こうしたことにもっと比重を置いた学習や経験をしたかった。 ビジネスマン、政治家、社会生活営む方々にお勧めの一冊。 一線で売れている芸能関係の方々は、本書で言っていることをよく心得ているような気がする。

Every once in a while, a book comes along that has the power to really change the way I see the world and move in it. In 2012, it was The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg. The year before, it was Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential is that kind of book. The central premise of the book is that in any encounter, people base how they feel about you on how you project strength and warmth. Once you become aware of what your unconscious strength and warmth signals are, you can learn to modulate them to connect better with people, influence them, and just be a more effective all-around human being. From the worlds of psychology, neuroscience, acting, political science, they've compiled some of the best practices for presenting your best self to the world. Some things I like about this book: 1) Neffinger and Kohut are seasoned professionals who have coached dozens of world-renowned politicians, businessmen, military leaders and speakers. When they dispense a tip -- like "hold the imaginary ball when you're speaking" -- it's a proven tip that insiders at the top of their game use. I felt like I was getting their probably very expensive one-on-one coaching at a huge discount. 2) The authors draw upon the scientific literature to back up their points - no speculation here. Anecdotes are nice, but when someone cites the hard science of how and why something works, it becomes even more convincing for me. For example, I really appreciated their explanation that strength feeds off the hormone testosterone while warmth is mediated by oxytocin, and that these two hormone systems inhibit one another. So if you sometimes feel as if there's a physical conflict between displaying strength vs. warmth, it's because there is. 3) They've organized the book such that it's easy to follow and implement their tips. They start by explaining what they mean by strength and warmth, and how you're broadcasting them via your gender, age and appearance ("the hand you were dealt"). Then they teach you how to convey strength and warmth more effectively depending on the context and what you'd like to accomplish ("how to play your hand"). 4) They illustrate their points with real-world stories - Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Hillary Clinton in the 2008 elections, US Presidents -- that bring the teachings to life, making for gripping reading and ease of implementation. Some of my favorite bits from the book: -- For a shot of strength before going into a big meeting, stand "big" for a couple of minutes, taking up a lot of space. This reduces cortisol and increases testosterone. -- Gender matters. There is a subtle art to women projecting strength and men projecting warmth without alienating their audiences. -- The five gestures that researchers have found to reduce warmth: leaning away; crossing arms; touching, rubbing or grasping hands together; and touching the face, stomach, or other parts of the body. Stop doing them! -- The flinty-eyed smile (think Clint Eastwood), or "strong smile", is a great way to project both strength and warmth. -- When giving a talk, replace fillers like "um" and "uh" with silence. So much more powerful. -- First connect, THEN lead. Once you "step inside their circle", you have much more persuasive power. In short, these are essential life skills that no one had bothered to teach us up to now. I hear the book is already mandatory reading at Harvard Business School; it *should* be required reading for all high schoolers. If you're a person at all interested in being more effective in your interactions with other humans in the realm of work, politics, romance, family life and more, then you should be reading this, too. "Compelling People" entertains and instructs in a way that can directly lead to your being a better version of yourself. -- Ali Binazir, M.D., M.Phil., author of The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible , the highest-rated dating book on Amazon for 157 weeks

Kaufen! Das Buch ist der Hammer und extrem interessant. Einerseits hätte ich mir gerne ein paar Beispiele mehr gewünscht, andererseits steckt, da so viel drin, dass es sonst vielleicht zu viel wäre.

Very good book and must read for professionals.