After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, 2nd Edition

If you're looking into this book and reading this review, chances are you have been devastated by infidelity recently. This book is straight forward and has helped me realize that my feelings towards my wife's infidelity are not only normal, but are something that I can overcome. I was absolutely shocked how the author hit the nail on the head with real world examples of exactly how i feel. I'm not done with the book yet but so far I have not been able to put it down. My wife and I are working on making our marriage work so I am having her read this book with me each night so she can understand my emotions and help herself deal with what lead her to cheat in the first place. This book is perfect- it helps both the hurt partner and the unfaithful partner understand their actions, their reactions to themselves and each other, and how to cope with ending or continuing your marriage.I was hesitant to purchase this because just reading the title stings a little. It's a terrible reminder of something that should never happen between two loving people. I feel like it takes a bold person to purchase a book like this because it seems so much easier to not think about the things that hurt us. I'm just a regular guy, not endorsed by the publisher or amazon, but I can tell you that the best thing you could do for yourself or your marriage is to add this book to your amazon cart and start healing the right way. Realize that your feelings are common and you're not crazy, irrational, or undesireable as you might think.What do you have to lose? The book was under ten dollars, cheap in regards to what I believe it's worth. Be strong enough to seek guidance because you are not alone. Good luck.

A year and 8 months after uncovering my husband's infidelity with a 19 year old coworker (we'd been married for 10 years and have two children), I found this book to be helpful in the current stage of my life. One might say that it is geared towards those that are experiencing the beginning stages of life after infidelity but it validated a lot of my feelings and reaffirmed that anxiety, panic, emptiness, etc. at this stage is still normal. That is really all I was looking for- to know that it's normal to still feel this way after almost 2 years in an otherwise now happy marriage. I skipped over quite a bit as it didn't apply to our current phase of "recovery". My husband has gone above and beyond to show his devotion and remorse (please note, he spent the first 2 weeks being the most heartless jerk I have ever met in order to make himself feel better about what he had done) but quite early on we both decided to commit to starting a new marriage together. For me, the book was more of a reflective read because we have already been through all of the early stuff. At this point, it's not really about the affair anymore but about what I need to do inside of myself to find personal peace and to leave detective mode behind so that it does not steal one more day of my precious life. If you've got $12 to spare, go for it. I should have rented it from the library instead as I will never pick it up again and kind of want it out of my house now (for silly, I want to move on from this reasons). To make a long story short- Read the book. It's easy to breeze through (took me a few hours in one sitting). You will find yourself saying "she put in to words what I couldn't". It may help, it may not, but there is no harm in giving it a shot. I highly suggest that the unfaithful partner read it as well.

This book was very strong on how to repair the damage to a relationship caused by an affair. The chapter on forgiveness was thought provoking and the emotions experienced by the 'hurt' person as described by Spring were incredibly accurate. I could really relate them all to my own experience, and this helped me immensely to 'normalise' those feelings. Spring gives some very good guidelines on steps to take to recover from an affair, whether that be to restore the relationship or rebuild your life as a single person.I do not think Spring was accurate in her descriptions of what actually constitutes an 'affair' however, as she seemed to be fixated on sexual betrayal. Affairs can involve emotional or sexual betrayal, or a combination of the two. Emotional affairs can be just as damaging to a relationship, if not more. Emotional affairs break the boundaries of intimacy with a partner, as much as any sexual encounter and combined emotional/sexual affairs are the hardest of all to overcome.

My ex wife and I originally decided to read this book together once she decided to leave me for many reasons, one for cyber infidelity. That day was November 2017. As of now, November 2018 while I just finished this book, I’m the only one reading this book. Weirdly enough, we still work together. Only one more day with each other and she just came into my office and asked what I was reading. I told her it was the book we both decided to read, she just shrugged her shoulders and walked on. I sincerely hope she reads this book and contacts me afterwards so we can start our healing together and REALLY talk about what happened between both of us. I pray she reconsiders me and if so that will be a bridge we will have to cross together, if not, I will be ok, just not as happy. This book opened my eyes to many possibilities, good and bad after an affair. And by any means did I have a physical long term affair, it was an affair nonetheless. Thanks for a great read and I recommend this book to anyone in a relationship, with or without infidelity.