Why They Left: Listening to Those Who Have Left Churches of Christ

As a Christian (of Christian parents) who has grown up in the Church of Christ and as one who has seen and heard of people leaving our fellowship, I found this to be a very interesting read.According to Yeakley's research, 135 people (out of 325) left the Church of Christ for another belief (to include unbelief/no religious affiliation). The rest left the Church of Christ for a Bible-based denomination.This book gives a great many reasons for this--doctrinal issues, instrumental music, leadership issues, lack of fellowship/friendliness, etc. These topics explain why these ~200 souls are no longer attending.However, going back to the remaining 135 that left, Yeakley offers very little insight as to why. The Bible's stance on Homosexuality was an issue with only 6 of the people in this survey. So what about the other 129?As one who had considered myself fallen away at one point, I would like to offer some insight that, I believe, better sums up why especially younger people leave the Church of Christ and never come back.It has little to do with Youth Ministry, Bible Classes, Involvement, Church Character and College Choice.I believe the primary reason why young people leave the Church for good after they leave home is because they simply do not believe--and are not given good reasons to believe--that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God.Young people away from home do not go to Church merely because they like the involvement. One can get involved outside of Church. They do not go back merely because people in the Church are friendly -- there are friendly people outside the Church, even in bars and clubs.When I left home, I still went to Church. Why was that? Partially because I was looking for a Christian spouse, partially because I wanted to experience a Church of Christ in Germany and partially so I could tell my parents over the phone, "Yes, your son is going to Church on Sunday when he can."But ultimately, I went to Church because I BELIEVED that the Bible was the inerrant Word of God.Having been to Churches of Christ all over the US and several other countries around the world, it has been my observation that lots of young people lack good reasons for believing in the Bible.Speaking from experience again, going to a non-Christian college (though I was still living with my parents) did a great deal to shake up my faith. One becomes aware of other religions, pantheons, sacred texts and hundreds of reasons why the Bible is supposedly false.What makes the Bible a more believable, authoritative sacred text than the Rigveda, Dianetics, or the Qur'an? There are easy answers to these questions, but unfortunately, from my experience, Churches of Christ do a poor job of presenting these reasons to the younger people. Churches spend too much time teaching Christian Virtues when they should be spending a little more time on Christian Evidences.I'm not sure if any are aware, but there are literally hundreds of arguments that Atheists and Agnostics level against Christianity and religion in general. However, as someone who has read the books of Atheists and books on informal logic, it immediately becomes apparent that many of their arguments are illogical and irrational. However, a young High School student in Church would scarcely know this because the counter-arguments are not frequently discussed in Church.Young people need to have personal, solid reasons for believing that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. If they are merely going to Church (even participating!) because their parents make them go to Church, it is small wonder they never come back.One last point about baptism. I've been baptized three times and I've known another who has been baptized twice. We were both baptized while still attending the Church of Christ with our parents. Also of note, both our parents were devout and active members.Obviously the fact that we got baptized more than once shows that something was wrong. What was it?In my case, I felt that the first two times I was baptized was not so much because I believed, but because I was pressured into it or did it simply to appease another. It wasn't until the third time that I got it right.Just because teens and young adults choose to be baptized into the Church of Christ, one should not assume that they are going to remain Christians when they leave home. Many of these later fall away because they discover sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. Many fall away because they were merely baptized to appease another or to impress that girl/guy the next pew over. Many fall away because the Church of Christ is all they have known and they have not been taught about other religions. They have simply inherited the religion of their parents.If you want the youth in your Church to keep going to Church, you need to give them SOLID reasons for believing in the Bible. When they are convinced of these solid reasons their faith then BECOMES THEIR OWN--they are no longer merely believing because their parents believe.Getting off my soapbox and going back to the book, I felt the research was enlightening and eye-opening, but mostly for explaining why firm believers in the Bible leave the Church of Christ for a Bible-based denomination. This would definitely be a good book for members everywhere to read, but, as I illustrate above, could do a better job of explaining why the young leave the Church after they leave home.

Yeakley never disappoints, even though much of what he says is (at some level) repetition of information he has placed in other publications. Still, his important work on the reasons--delivered in a colloquial fashion and (for all practical purposes) as oral history--is extremely enlightening. There's no question he writes as an "insider," but he is perfectly frank in his evaluations. He does not flinch to let the hammer fall where it must and he does not try to equivocate in such a manner as to make the reasons of those whom he has reviewed appear to be less than honest.This book should be read by all preachers and elders--and probably even by every member of the churches of Christ--if only to discover wherein they may see themselves reflected in those whom Yeakley has interviewed. This does not mean you will agree with all of Yeakley's conclusions he draws (or the sometimes frustrating ways he says them), but you will leave the book with a clearer idea about the question you may also have asked, "Why?"Highly recommended!

While the author asks people about why they leave, he does not offer much insight. He is often quick to suggest that the respondents are wrong or just don't understand doctrine rather than listening. He frequently takes the time to restate the doctrines of the Church of Christ rather than acknowledging that people might just not agree. He states that he doesn't have the negative background that some who have left come from and that is to the books detriment. I am continually left with the feeling that he is unable to really take some of the criticisms seriously because he doesn't have firsthand knowledge of them. As someone who left the Church of Christ and who is familiar with reasons people leave these particular churches, the answers seem incomplete. It is noteworthy that the people responding to the surveys don't get the chance to explain or expound upon things he doesn't understand. Useful to a point, but not reliable. I would instead recommend David Kinnaman's "You Lost Me" if you're interested in why some younger people are leaving their churches.

Too often Yeakley states he didn't experience anything like the people interviewed claim to have experienced. This may be true. However his seeming detachment from those who did leave is all too often exactly what the leavers have already experienced up close and personal.If you read this book, whether you think it was a five star, or a two star read, I would suggest, "Exit Interviews" by William D. Hendricks. It has much more depth without the judgmental attitude. Hendricks has captured the emotion and mind of those who are leaving church. Some individuals may be mistaken about their reasoning but nonetheless that reasoning for their leaving church is their honest reality.While people leaving churches of Christ is the focus of Yeakley's book, Hendricks approaches the more general leaving occurring across all congregations claiming Christ as Lord.Without reading Hendricks' work you'll will be lacking a lot of solid information. The demographics of the 21st century are not the demographics of the 1950s. Too many brethren are asleep in the past.

The eldership in which I serve is using this book to do a monthly study/discussion. I have found it to be very helpful in understanding where some of my congregation may be in their spiritual walk. It has also highlighted areas in which I am failing as an elder. I hope that this will spur me on to better service and more effective discussions with the church. I strongly recommend this book for any member of the church who wants to get an understanding of where some people may be coming from.