Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment

I LOVE this book. I did the book/exercises alone, not by choice, but I still experienced truly monumental shifts in my thinking and feeling. I feel like a baby as I learn self-love every day, but I am committed to living this way. If you do the exercises and really explore your feelings, even the icky ones, you really can experience what I can only describe as transcendence. The really important thing to realize is that you can't just do this once and expect it to stick. This is a lifestyle change, just like healthy eating and living, that you have to consciously execute every day. Similar to yoga, each day is a "practice". You will still feel angry, sad, scared, anxious, lonely, and experience self-doubt. This is life. The point of this book is realizing to first love all those feelings, and then choose how to respond to those feelings. I really loved this book and the shifts I experienced with the exercises.

I'm a relationship coach with a private practice. I see a lot of clients all day. This is pretty much the relationship bible, in my opinion. When I first read this book some years ago I was already highly skilled in communication, in relationships. It was actually a required book in my spiritual psychology masters program that I thought I'd get just a couple of tips from. To my great surprise this book ended up transforming my already skilled communication, thus transforming my ability to experience even deeper realms of intimacy and joy with my partner. What I like about it is that it's practical, easy to understand, relate to and apply to your own relationship. It gives plenty of examples to demonstrate patterns that don't work in relationships and offers fantastic exercises to be able to see your own projections that you're unconsciously bringing to the relationship. I learned more about relationships in this book than in any other relationship I've ever encountered. The authors sure know what they're talking about. This book has the power to transform any relationship for the better, if they apply what's presented in this book. This book is nothing short of Life & Relationship changing.

This must be one of the best books ever written on love and relationships. Worth reading more than once! For people who think they already know it all, you don't and won't until you've read this book. Check it out! And guess what? It's one of Love Coach Annie Lalla's favorites too! Can't get better than that!

This book came to me when it needed to and I wish I had known about it long ago. Their work is revolutionary. It's my self imposed homework and I read it morning and evening, take copious notes, and will be re-reading it and doing all the exercises until it all sticks. I'm pretty sure this is the work that Jesus, Buddha, etc. realized in order to reach enlightenment and they needed the community around them to realize it. Going off to meditate by yourself is easy, this is the hard work.

I was never really into self help books but this one was recommended to me by a friend and from the moment I picked it up it was eye opening. If you are ready to face the future taking full responsibility for your actions and learning to recognize the patterns you may not have seen before I totally recommend. This isn't about taking blame for the bad it's about recognizing when the bad started and seeing how and when and who enabled the behavior that was not constructive so it can be corrected, stopped and avoided. Can be read together with a partner or alone to help with finding the right relationship for you.

I am certainly not an expert on books about relationships, but I have read a few and this one -- Conscious Loving -- has become my relationship bible. It lays out a fairly simple framework for moving from "unconscious loving," a state that many couples find themselves in eventually, to a state of awareness, acknowledgement, and responsibility that the authors call conscious loving. Introducing this book into my current relationship has moved us deeper and deeper into our love, and has pushed us to work on ourselves so that we can be better partners to each other. At the same time, it has reminded us that relationships should also be a place for fun & lightness. The rhythm of relationships -- the work, and the fun -- is another key learning you'll take away from CL. This book should be required reading at the beginning of every new relationship.

This book had been a God send!!!! My mento recommended it to me several years ago and my gf and I read it together. Wow, i just finished reading (yes I took a whole extra year) and we really applied allot of the exercises. We both were amazed at how much energy and how many of our feelings go unexpressed in our relationships and our lives. For me I had been dealing with some shoulder and back issues for the last several years. The issues cleared up almost immediately when my gf and I practiced the exercises together!! This book is definitely worth the money and then some! I am very grateful to both of the authors for their work and my fiancee and I plan to continue to use the exercises actively in our relationship and lives. Would highly recommend!

I LOVE this book! I was a little skeptical when I heard from someone that Gay Hendricks was *body-centered* but I started reading this book with my fiancee, and it is working wonders for our relationship. He really means be present with your feelings, and be in touch with yourself during a relationship. We now have a common language we can use when dealing with our relationship, and the positive approach Gay teaches focuses on empowering couples to be creative individuals while co-committed in the relationship. His advocating for honesty and transparency to liberate a relationship really cuts through all the complications people tend to bring into the process. It really is easy and simple with Conscious Loving, but both people have to be willing.

“Conscious loving” is an absolutely stunning book!

Must read

Very insightful book about how to rid yourself from codependent relationships, not only with future or current partners, your family members, friends, colleagues, etc. unlearn past habits that create conflicts in your relationships. Everyone needs to read this book!

Un bon livre avec beaucoup d'information et techniques spécifiques à mettre en place dans nos vies et nos relations. Par contre je trouve que parfois il est un peu trop répétitif et long (spécialement vers la fin) . Ils auraient pu simplifier leur méthode. Autrement plutôt bien.

A little bit too long BUT definitely very interesting. It really helps understanding relationships of all kinds: parental, friendship, love, colleagues...