How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who's Sick

Letty Cottin Pogrebin, a woman who survived her own battle with cancer, delivers an essential guide on how to nurture, and love the sick. As soon as I noticed the title of this book, I immediately reflected back to 30 years of Nursing, working on all units, including oncology. The author shares her personal experience, along with touching stories of patients and their feedback of how they were treated, and what was missing. As I contemplate on hundreds of patients I cared for in the healthcare industry, many diagnosed with terminal illness, I remember listening to their own stories of how friendship and family interactions played a huge role in personal feelings, and recovery. The author portrays the essential importance of how to treat people that are sick, regardless of whether their condition is chronic, or terminal. Letty Cottin Pogrebin describes situations that can be awkward, misunderstood, and uncomfortable. Her main purpose of writing this book was to pass on information to others that makes a difference in the lives of those who are sick, and suffering. This book is filled with wisdom, guidance, and compassion. The author explains the things we should say, and the things we should not do. In addition, the crucial lessons highlighted by the author will benefit the sick in many ways. Letty Cottin Pogrebin offers tips for good behavior when visiting the sick, and how we should act. Most important, we must remember the feelings of the patient. The author's wise and witty lessons are valuable tools in helping to nurture the sick, and suffering. She describes what is needed, and how terror, fear and despair can only hurt more. When these challenges are met that the author discusses, it could indeed make a huge impact on the condition of the sick, and healers. Overall, the author described how these acts of kindness will nurture the sick, and the importance of sharing these lessons with friends, and family. This heartfelt book is impressive, inspiring, and beautifully written. Highly recommended!

You hate to say how 'great' this book is, because of the reasons you may have to buy it. Given that, this book is so wonderful for a situation that you face particularly as you get older--when friends are seriously ill. What do you say, or do? This book becomes the guidebook.It's that good. Like Pogrebin, I had stage 0 breast cancer. I went thru many of the personal, emotional experiences that I did not expect. The seemingly cruel "Oh, you have the good one," the choices you have to make when you are the most frightened person in the room, the unintentional demands people put on you "Just let me know if you need anything," comments that are made. Pogrebin's book shows us that many friends simply don't know what to say, do for you, how to be caring and involved. Friends are scared too, of their own mortality, which your illness may remind them of, and simply clumsy with deep emotions that your illness, accident, pick your illness... may come up.This book, for me, and for friends, has come out at a perfect time. She is an outstanding guide through the path of being a friend with a friend who is sick. There is a tender thoughtfulness in her writing, along with practicality to her advice and suggestions.

Recently I was told that my renal cancer came back and had spread. I was given my options (which weren't great) and what could happen in the near future. The first time I was fine and dealt with it great. This time I wasn't handling it as well as I wanted to for both my family and my friends. My social worker suggested this wonderful book. It was a godsend. Letty Pogrebin was right on with her down to earth, honesty and insightful experience that sometimes I said "me too!". It was so helpful that I bought a bunch of them for my family, friends and support team (Letty's suggestion) to help them help me. I have even suggested this book to various book clubs due to the various subject matters and as a great discussion tool. She was even thoughtful and thorough as to include tools at the end of the book. I have the book on my kindle so that I can go back and reread when I am feeling low and need someone who understands.Thank you Letty!

I appreciated the author's direct, conversational writing style and did gain some ideas about how to deal with sick friends and their friends and family. The book shined when the spotlight was on the experiences of others and their reactions to the words of others but the author spent an inordinate amount of time talking about herself. I think if you care enough about how to be a friend in need that you are tempted to pick the book up and read it, you should. What you will probably find is that you already knew or sensed most of the right and wrong things to say and do most of the time. The take away for me was that every person is different and needs to be treated differently as he or she transitions through illness. If you intend to really be a friend, don't phone it in, roll up your sleeves and work at it. If at some point you mess up and say or do the wrong thing and you know it, apologize and keep being a friend.

I have thoroughly enjoyed ALL of Ms. Pogrebin's other books (and columns) and ordered this book as I have a dear friend who is dying. This was a self help book for me. I found this book easy to read, not at all depressing, and VERY helpful. As Ms. Pogrebin gave her own account of her illness and those of friends and acquaintances she met while going through treatment, she was bold enough to give accounts of the mistakes she's made along the way in dealing with ill (some terminally) of friends. I learned much from this book and am using my new found knowledge to be a better and more helpful friend to my dear friend...so her last weeks/days can be more comfortable and happy.